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relationships When a fucking "favor" creates 3 times the work
by FuckedWife
gfd messages
(fuckmerunnin' on Jun 7, 2009 11:35:07 PM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

I hate to sound like a whiny, bitch wife, but my husband only does "favors" he wants to.
Here is the deal, I married an incompetent, lazy, but well-meaning, asshole.

He knew long before he married me that I hated housework, I'm not a little fucking Mary Homemaker. I clean because I have to, not because I like it. If I could afford a maid, I would have one.

I told my dumass that if he wasn't the type to pitch in, then he could move on.

He lied and I fucking hate him for it.

Anyway, since the house and the yard (a fucking monster yard) are my jobs (in addition to my other outside jobs) I ask (beg) him to help.

Today, he decided to "help" by laying mulch in my vegetable garden boxes.

There is fucking mulch, 5 inches thick and burying my fucking plants.

Only the goddamn top leaves are sticking out from the fucking mulch.

Jesus fucking christ how can a grown man be so fucking dense?

So tomorrow, I get to CAREFULLY and SLOWLY haul the mulch out and finish planting the garden (yes we already had the fucking plants and he knew it, he bought them), then re-lay the mulch.

And I'm leaving with our 4 year old on vacation Tuesday and we had her fucking birthday party today with HIS family so I needed help with that, not the fucking mulch.

I swear to god when I walked out and looked at the boxes, I saw red.

It took every once of control for me not to pick up the fucking rake and implant it in his head.

Every fucking ounce.

[ Comment on this story ]

    Christ on a pogo stick!!!
    by Ivan Yutu Buggerov(
    gfd messagesAIMYahooMSNICQ
    on Jun 8, 2009 05:32:42 AM
    You bitch about him being lazy.

    You bitch about him being incompetent.

    You bitch because he's dense.

    You bitch when he tries to help.

    You bitch.

    Oh, and for your reference, it is spelled, "dumbass." God fucking damnit, I hate it when the illiterate post. I hate it more when I discover they've bred.

    Have a nice vacation, by the way.
    [Reply to this comment]
      I meant dumass, dumass crybaby
      by FuckedWife(fuckmerunnin'
      gfd messages
      on Jun 8, 2009 07:55:52 AM
      I meant dumass, it is a part of my vocabulary.
      As in "Mr. Dumass." Which is the code I use around my daughter so that she doesn't pick up my truck driver like vocabulary.

      Illiterate 'eh? How about we both sit down and take an IQ test and see which one of us comes out on top?

      And I don't bitch normally.

      I shut my fucking mouth and go back to work.

      While he puts in his 40 and then sits on the couch.

      We bought a fixer upper because HE said he wanted to.

      In five years the only things that have been fixed are the things that I fixed.

      My first sentence stated that I knew I was being a whiny bitch.

      But after five years of having 95% of home & our business fall on my shoulders, I needed to fucking vent about it.

      Which I thought was the point.

      You, and him, can go fuck yourselves.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        Revisionist history. How tepidly pathetic.
        by Ivan Yutu Buggerov(
        gfd messagesAIMYahooMSNICQ
        on Jun 9, 2009 08:37:39 PM
        He's lazy. He puts in his 40. Hmmm. At least you make it SOUND like he has a job. He must not be lazy, if that is the case. That would also mean, in today's tight labor market, that he's competent at something.

        Nice story about "dumass" considering the rampant reliance on fuck in your story. I was touched. Your four year old daughter must have a bright future. Perhaps, if you're going to try and fake her out, you could substitute the French Dumas (pronounced doo-mah, for your information). At least then you'd sound as pretentious at home as you do here.

        I have to believe that there is a good reason that your husband sits on the couch. Perhaps it is due to the obvious love you demonstrate for him. Perhaps it is due to your piss-and-vinegar approach to life. Have you tried treating him with respect? Have you tried giving up the self-centered approach? Have you tried ONCE to suborn your own desires and reward his? Have you tried fucking him instead of telling him to fuck himself? You can tell me that, and I'm cool with it. Don't tell him that. He is your HUSBAND. He deserves your respect. The way you sound, I'd be an asshole to you if I were your husband. I'd probably, at that point, also prefer fucking myself to fucking you. Most real men would.

        For what it is worth, my Stanford-Binet was in the low 160's when I was last tested. Of course, I've been in an auto accident since then and declared dead, so I'm sure I lost a few brain cells. I'll still take my chances. After you've finished devouring the Ponderosa buffet, waddle on over and we'll play a round on Jeopardy.

        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          by murdersgalore(wacking@yourfuneral.cum)
          gfd messagesMSN
          on Jun 11, 2009 02:24:30 AM
          was worthy of much man-love.
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          I'm bored and feel like being an ass!
          by LostHope19(
          gfd messages
          on Jun 16, 2009 01:41:41 AM
          Hah, it's whores like you who make the majority of the world look down on intellectuals. You don't have to be an ass. While your IQ may be fairly high, I'd be willing to bet that most people you meet dislike you, or that you feel disconnected from them. Why, you ask? Because, frankly, you don't understand the way people work.

          Besides the most common IQ test, there are many other types of IQ test. One of these is the social IQ test. Knowing and understanding people and how they work is often very difficult for people who live by the facts. As an intellectual who can read people very well and is feeling generous, I am willing to inform you that, based on her posts, FuckedWife is not simply bitching. Her husband has not been keeping his end of their marital bargain. When this happens, the spouse who feels overworked will often become irritated to a point beyond your manly imagination. However, because the spouse doesn't want to turn the issue into anything marriage-threatening, he or she will store the emotions inside his or her mind. This much I'm sure you have heard before and can easily follow. However, once they are stored, the emotions tend to make the agitated spouse look for places to vent and ways to cope. FuckedWife isn't just being bitchy, she is venting and looking for a way out of doing one of the things she hates most (housework) as a living.

          FuckedWife, if you really are already asking your husband for help around the house, I suggest that you try counseling... Not because it's a problem with you, him, or the two of you together, but because it's hard for any two married people to communicate without help, due to the bad communication habits developed way back when before they were married.

          A forty hour work week is not a very intense schedule. The work FuckedWife was describing at home is a much bigger task.

          As for your comment about her overuse of the word "fuck", check the URL. In this site, the word "fuck" should be welcomed warmly. xD

          Now, you can sit around and try to use big words while you throw your IQ around like every other Mensa-loving smart ass in the world, or you can can do something useful with your knowledge and your admirable lingual skills. Before you try this though, I suggest that you look into therapy (solely because most people who try telling others how to live their lives need it desperately.) Don't tell me I need therapy, because I'm already getting it ;)

          Since none of that will get through to a dumbass internet thug like you, how about this: i have an IQ of 174, lolz! Then again, they say anything above 170 is really immeasurable... It's difficult to measure the IQ of somebody who is smarter than the people who created the test ;)

          Also, you misused the word "suborn". That word generally deals with matters of secrecy. :D
          Seriously, you're like Hitler... Trying to gain the support of the readers through immensely inaccurate generalizations and slandering. If there were a Hell, I'd tell you to burn in it. jk
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            BT UU...
            by LostHope19(
            gfd messages
            on Jun 16, 2009 01:42:58 AM
            ...I didn't check that for grammar and don't really want any grammar police riding my ass. Then again, this is GFD, so I'll bake cookies in preparation.

            Also, I epic failed at only italicizing the word "not" and italicized the entire second half of my rant.

            <-- lol newfag
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              by LostHope19(
              gfd messages
              on Jun 20, 2009 02:34:19 AM
              Hitler gained the support of an entire nation and then some by slandering other countries and talking about unfair oppression... I can't say that i see where you're coming from here.

              The world isn't so scary unless you fear death or fail to surround yourself with good people ;)

              FYI It was late and I was bored... That's the only reason I typed that message... Not that any of it was untrue...
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            What a gutless puke.
            by Ivan Yutu Buggerov(
            gfd messagesAIMYahooMSNICQ
            on Jun 16, 2009 04:16:54 AM
            You dare compare someone with Hitler while accusing them of slander?

            Crawl under a rock and cower from the terrifying world around you.
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    by banuaba(lol@keke.rofl)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jun 8, 2009 10:58:16 AM
    What kind of computer do you have in the kitchen?
    [Reply to this comment]
    It's called communication. gold starthumbs upthumbs up
    by bean
    gfd messages
    on Jun 8, 2009 11:28:10 AM
    You're allowed to bitch, but you are just as guilty as incompetence as he is. You already know he's the type that needs "specific instructions" perhaps even supervision. And yet you don't give him any. Or worse yet, you let him try to figure out what he should be doing. That's like letting your 4 year old try to run the house. Not smart.

    Talk to him damn it!

    Tell him you need more help and then show him how he can. If he truly is "well-meaning" he will follow your specific tasks once you show him how. But don't belittle him or over burden him with too much at once. He's not a child, just not sure on what he should be doing and he's not going to do things on his own.

    And if you needed help with your daughter's party, you should have told him what to do and been appreciative for the help.

    You expect too much. Stop doing that and your blood pressure will thank you for it.
    [Reply to this comment]
    May I point something out?
    by scarygermanguy(
    gfd messages
    on Jun 17, 2009 06:09:28 PM
    I hate to sound like a whiny, bitch wife, but my husband only does "favors" he wants to.

    If you're asking him to do a "favor" and he chooses not to do it, I fail to understand your problem.
    A favor by its very definition is of a voluntary nature.

    What you are trying to tell us is that you are asking your husband very nicely to purty please do something for you, and he is being an intractable asshole about it.

    Now if you were telling the truth, you are probably nagging or ordering him to do something and like most men he doesn't wanna hear that shit.

    I pity your husband, and if you have kids I feel bad for them too. Being stuck with a screeching Hitler-clone like you 24/7 must suck beyond belief.
    [Reply to this comment]
    How the Hell can a competent adult...
    by need2vent
    gfd messages
    on Jul 13, 2009 03:04:19 PM
    I love my husband but I too sometimes find myself trying to figure out how an otherwise competent adult human being can fail to understand even the simplest task. I mean, he can construct anything he wants to including electrical devices, solve complex problems at work, and generally function independently in the outside world, but washing dishes or (in your case) basic gardening are beyond him!?! Besides, why is any and all work OUR (you and I since you clearly have the same plight, not women or wives in general) responsibility and anything they (see above disclaimer for generality of this statement) do is a "favor?" How the hell is it a favor to me if the man puts a little effort into maintaining his own household!?! Thank you for posting this story- it save me the trouble of posting a similar one of my own!
    [Reply to this comment]
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