If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!
|Why are people gluttons for self-punishment?|
|So I am a normal nerd dude. I have normal nerd friends. We hang out, drink beer, and collect and consume tiny christmas trees (wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean...).|
So I have this buddy who was dating a girl. He thinks she's cheating on him, and does what he thinks is the natural thing. HE ASKS HER TO MARRY HIM!!!!!!!!! (me: WTF?)
So, they get married. It was a good wedding, with free chinese buffet and alcohol for me (the "best dude"). Things go okay.
Then, there is a sudden revelation. She leaves a dear John letter, and is gone. No word on why (to him at least). Well, from an ex of mine (who I am still friends with) I find out it was because her Kung-Fu teacher was teaching her a multitude of new FORMS. TECHNIQUES, if you will. He was sticking his fucking wang into the glory hole.
Who couldn't see that coming! My buddy (who is a big dick sometimes) treated her like a little girl - "Hey honey, for leaving that pan of rice on the counter for an hour you have THREE MONTHS of dish duty!" "Hey honey, even though you make 80% of the money in the couple, I want control of the checkbook!" "Hey honey, show your titties so he can judge if they're B's or A's for himself (How the FUCK did I become a titty expert all of a sudden???)!"
So, ultimately, my buddy is a big fucking dick. He still wonders to this day why his wife left him. I am almost tempted to grab his earlobes, smash my forehead into his and yell "Respect your woman, BITCH!"
Any clues on how to clue him in?