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Stories Comments Both
school One Grape...That'll be ten dollars.
by Bizzle
gfd messages
on Jul 9, 2003 09:25:49 PM

If you were logged in, you could vote for this story!

You see? This is what happens when you attend a predominantly Catholic high school.
 
Yeah, I posted a rant yesterday. Now I am posting this one. Today.



[A certain]High School. I go there. Obviously. Anyway, this is one seriously screwed up educational facility. The scene: Lunch hour(more like lunch 23 minutes). Me and my friends are sitting at a lunch table. Hmm...how shall I refer to them? Ok, Mexican is to my left, Redhead is to my right, Bastard is to Redhead's right, and Dumbass is across from Mexican. Got all that? Mexican, Redhead, Bastard, and Dumbass. I am going to give you the play-by-play:

Bastard removes a grape from his Zip-Lock and places it in Rehead's shirt pocket. What's this? Redhead puts the grape in my sweatshirt hood! It looks like I am pissed! I mistake the perpetrator and toss the grape TWO feet right into Bastard's left cheekbone. Bastard's face turns a shade of red, maybe he is pissed! He is! Bastard throws the grape at me. Being the agile creature that I am, I lean back and grape sails harmlessly by and stikes Mexican. Mexican will have none of it. He tosses a ketchup covered french fry onto Bastard's nice blue jacket. Out of nowhere, Dumbass throws a ketchup covered fry at Bastard! Whoa!

After a few laughs, we settle down. Two days later during lunch, Mexican is called into the Dean of Students' office. The Dean is a large woman with a taste for blood(and maybe some fried chicken). She is charge of punishing the students. Anyway, after a few minutes, Mexican returns with a message: Bastard, Dumbass, and myself are to join him in the Dean's office. Holy Shit. So we go. She says that Bastard's mom called her complaining about a ketchup stained jacket. Apparently, it was ruined. She asks what happened. No one speaks. I sense a hunger-induced rage and speak up. I explain basically what I said in the above paragraph. I guess this hungry woman wanted to pin this whole thing on someone so she could go to KFC, because suddenly she turned on me! She explains calmly how the entire thing was my fault. If I hadn't tossed the grape Bastard wouldn't have thrown it, etc. Right, I am responsible for everyone's actions. Right. Then she tells us that we all have to pay a fine of ten dollars for throwing food. Shitfuck. She also says that I have bring in a note from home because I started it all. Bitch. If you closely examine the above paragraph, Bastard brought it all on himself. What is the additional punishment for Mexican and Dumbass, the two who actually caused damage with their ketchup covered projectiles? NOTHING. Kill me now.

The next day I come in with ten bucks and a note from home. I walk into her office expecting a "I hope you've learned your lesson", or a "Ok". Instead I walk in there and she looks me in the eye and says, "Shame on you." WTF!? In response I say incredulously, "For what?" She says, "For what you did yesterday." I say, "Oh." and hand her my note and cash. She tells me that the money goes to the Battered Women's Shelter. I almost said, "Yeah, your house." But I decided to not get expelled.

Well, I did learn my lesson. Two actually.

1. One grape tossed two feet is ten dollars out of your pocket.

2. Fat, hungry women do not belong in places of power.

[ Comment on this story ]


    there's something you still need to learn.
    by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Jul 9, 2003 09:50:27 PM
    (#7714)
    And that is that when you and some of your cronies are in trouble, you ALL need to keep silent. ever heard the expression "the guilty dog barks first"? alot of people work on the premise that this is absolutely and 100% true. on the other hand, you COULD have stopped it by not throwing the grape. that's 5th grade behavior, not whatever age you are.

    Oh yeah, and Bastard whining to his mommy about the sweatshirt and saying that you guys were to blame, instead of just taking it like a man? sounds like you need to choose your friends more carefully.
    [Reply to this comment]
      Right...
      by Bizzle
      gfd messages
      on Jul 9, 2003 09:57:58 PM
      (#7716)
      Yeah, I heard that speech. "You could have ended it right then and there." I ask you this: If someone put a food item in YOUR hood, would you take it out and eat it or absentmindedly toss it back?
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        nobody said anything about eating it
        by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
        gfd messagesAIM
        on Jul 9, 2003 10:37:01 PM
        (#7720)
        you should have forseen that something of this ilk might have happened. taking part in the act signifies that you accept the consequence.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    a slightly more drawn out story of St. Blows.
    by Microsoft Bob(spamburrito@gmail.com)
    gfd messagesAIMICQ
    on Jul 9, 2003 10:33:13 PM
    (#7719)
    ***Yes, I went there for 6 months***

    I had, one person who you probably know of, who shall remain nameless, and one you probably don't know of for my first two periods.

    See the problem with teacher 1 was she was a man-hating lesbian, and I was one of 3 guys in the class (all dropped it after the first half).

    The problem with teacher 2 (Eidner), was that she was a nazi. She was a german who moved to venezuela in the 40s. COuldn't speak english, and she didn't believe the holocaust happened.

    They tried to do some fucked stuff to me. Of course, they had nothing to stand on-- I maxed out their entrance exam.

    Good luck with that school. and if you're smart, you'll set fire to it.

    Brunell is a good guy though. I liked all my other teachers there... Just waking up to a man-hating dyke and a nazi kinda frazzled me, if you know what I mean...
    Bob
    [Reply to this comment]
      Man-Hating Dyke...
      by Bizzle
      gfd messages
      on Jul 9, 2003 10:46:06 PM
      (#7721)
      you mean Enguehard or Poloni?
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        I can neither...
        by Microsoft Bob(spamburrito@gmail.com)
        gfd messagesAIMICQ
        on Jul 10, 2003 12:15:28 AM
        (#7728)
        ...deny nor confirm your suspicions there...

        Deny Nor Confirm.

        In Denial
        /Bob
        (trying to be a little less subtle)
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
          i don't get it
          by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
          gfd messagesAIM
          on Jul 10, 2003 12:51:58 AM
          (#7735)
          how do you know this is the same school? do you know this kid?
          [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            my suspicions
            by bean
            gfd messages
            on Jul 10, 2003 01:06:38 AM
            (#7737)
            it's his son :)
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
            it is the private catholic school...
            by Microsoft Bob(spamburrito@gmail.com)
            gfd messagesAIMICQ
            on Jul 10, 2003 01:39:53 AM
            (#7740)
            and failing that, I attended each of the HS in this fair city-- I know exactly what he's talking about...

            And no, I don't know him...

            I probably know his friend, because I've only told one person about this site in the past 3 weeks, and it's my new coworker
            [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
              Brunell
              by Bizzle
              gfd messages
              on Jul 10, 2003 08:49:44 PM
              (#7758)
              By the way, Brunell left the school. Guess he got tired of the bullshit.

              Also, I found this site on Yahoo accidently, so I don't know your coworker.
              [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                okay...
                by Microsoft Bob(spamburrito@gmail.com)
                gfd messagesAIMICQ
                on Jul 10, 2003 09:45:05 PM
                (#7759)
                He gradiated from righetti a year ago. figured since I told him about it a few nights ago, you heard from him...

                Good luck with the job hunt. You'll need it if you're under 18.

                (PS Testing out mX Duo. definitely not for gaming. I should turn and face the adapter and see if it works better.
                I like wireless, but I'm getting waaaaaaaaaay too much crap interference for some reason.

                Bob
                [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                too bad...
                by Microsoft Bob(spamburrito@gmail.com)
                gfd messagesAIMICQ
                on Jul 10, 2003 11:46:41 PM
                (#7761)
                I loved him. Great teacher. Quite entertaining that he got in an accident as the driver's ed teacher....

                Found out something interesting about a certain other HS in the area: SMHS used to have monkeys! There used to be a lake at waller park that had monkeys in it. Apparently they caught them every night and had them sleep at the HS.

                Their network admin's office is now located in the room where they kept the monkeys...

                I think I should be angry about that, but in all honesty, I see their point...

                that is all. Welcome aboard; I'll let you know if I see any jobs around (18+ is a lot easier on the jobs, but I doubt that you fall in that category).

                /Bob
                [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                  er, bob?
                  by kraken
                  gfd messages
                  on Jul 11, 2003 12:07:32 AM
                  (#7762)
                  been smoking something lately?

                  monkeys. in a lake. lake monkeys. school sleeping lake monkeys.
                  [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
                    Monkey's
                    by Bizzle
                    gfd messages
                    on Jul 11, 2003 12:30:41 AM
                    (#7763)
                    There is this island in the middle of a big lake/pond. Monkey's used to live there. It is true. Bob ain't talking about mer-monkey's. I don't know what happened to 'em, but they no longer live on Monkey Island.
                    [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Wait... they charged you a fine?
    by Mentor(Tim_Maki@hotmail.com)
    gfd messages
    on Jul 10, 2003 01:49:15 AM
    (#7741)
    What the fuck? What kind of fucked-up school can fine you for something that didn't involve the school what-so-ever, let alone make you pay it to some charity organization?
    [Reply to this comment]
    Sounds to me
    by Gribble
    gfd messages
    on Jul 11, 2003 12:23:06 PM
    (#7771)
    Like you need to beat the living shit out of bastard so that he knows what sniveling to mommy will get him. I like a sock full of sand.
    [Reply to this comment]
    Here is what you really should do: dunceduncedunce
    by sportzhound
    gfd messages
    on Apr 8, 2006 08:34:24 AM
    (#21610)
    Get Bastard to agree to cut class one day and take him out to some woods, hold him down with your other friends, and one at a time gang-rape him in the ass. Then squirt your load all over his face. After that humiliation, beat him into submission until he pays you $10. That should do the trick. I'm sure that he wont squeal again.

    - Since this story is old, and you may very likely be done with high school, still do the above. -
    [Reply to this comment]
    hope you learned something
    by AntFromHell(AntSabbouh@hotmail.com)
    gfd messagesAIM
    on Aug 2, 2007 09:23:42 AM
    (#24819)
    Catholic school sucks. I'm completely entitled to say because I've gone to nothing but for a good 11 years. Good to be out. Since then, I've renounced religion and I give priests shit when they try to "save" me. Yea, fuck that.
    [Reply to this comment]
    hmmm
    by sirensez(sirensezbendover@andtakeit.com)
    gfd messages
    on Aug 6, 2007 12:51:25 PM
    (#24871)
    I really need to find new ways to fill out my day
    [Reply to this comment]
      Hmmm ...
      by QuizzMizz(a.quiz@nine.kills.time)
      gfd messages
      on Aug 8, 2007 04:31:28 AM
      (#24879)
      most single parents I know have never encountered that problem. I would have thought having two little kids to take care of should have the opposite effect.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        well...
        by sirensez(sirensezbendover@andtakeit.com)
        gfd messages
        on Aug 8, 2007 02:00:33 PM
        (#24888)
        you would think so, but the baby still naps a bit and my oldest is pretty self sufficient (at least she likes to think). I get up early and wake my kids up out of boredom (cruel ehh).
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    omfg
    by xxirsishchildxx(no@gofuckyourself.apple)
    gfd messages
    on Mar 23, 2010 08:15:06 PM
    (#28478)
    that just made me happy about wasting hours reading stories like these instead of doing a school project that was due on monday... btw i've doone about1/10 of the job and i was given about... only 3 months to read half a book and talk about it...
    YAY PROCRASTERNATION!
    [Reply to this comment]

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