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people Marriage: Tradition or Stupidity?
by bean
gfd messages
on Aug 12, 2003 06:18:23 PM

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The idea of marriage has been based on several different ideals throughout the ages. The romantics believing it a special union between two people, the religious seeing it as a union meant to harvest children, the gays seeing it as a way to equality, fathers see it as change of ownership, royals see it as political contracts, etc. The list goes on. But why the fuck does it even matter in this day and age?
I am a bias individual. Let's just get that out before I rant about something I feel very strongly on. I dislike marriage, in all its forms. I find the institution of marriage to be bleak, meaningless, and above all wasteful. However, I realize that many people appreciate the symbol and whatever nonsense they place behind it.

Historically marriage was seen as some form of ownership. A great example of this is the Greeks. Women were either gifts or prizes won. A marriage basically meant that a female would stay in the home and produce children as well as goods to be used by the family. Sexual attraction had little or nothing to do with the bond. Now of course in Greek society, I can easily understand the usefullness of marriage. It kept a slave at home to provide for your heirs and yourself. Also, you were free to end the marriage if your slave, excuse me, I mean wife displeased you. Quite a logical idea for a budding society.

Now many other cultures followed this suit. Several societies arranged marriages in advance to inflate the family fortune and produce male heirs. And of course the church stepped in to help with primitive promiscuity issues. Classes were maintained, races left defined, lands increased, and love left to loss. And all the apes beat their chests in celebration.

From what I have heard, society advanced. And lo and beyond marriage became a more open idea. People began to marry more for love. People divorced each other over petty differences. And our leader, from atop his white house of power, defined marriage as a sacred bond between a man and a woman. (It would have been amusing had he said that in San Francisco.)

So that leaves us where? Debating whether gays have the same right to wed as heterosexual couples, watching the numbers for divorce climb steadily, and buying some outfit to wear to a wedding where you know some old drunken slob will spill his wine on it. I can see the progress. All this stupidity and wasted money on a silly word called marriage.

Now don't just think I hate marriage simply for society's shadow of the bond. I know a few married couples that have managed to redefine what a marriage is. I respect those people on the grounds that they want to change the population's way of viewing marriage. But I also give a sigh to those people that hoped onto the marriage band-wagon.

We should simply do away with the absurd primitive idea of marriage. The tax-breaks should be thrown out the window with the insurance rates. If you can't provide for yourself and are physically able to do so, than shame on you.

Who you fuck won't matter to the masses because marriage won't exist. (This excludes the rich and famous who will continue to be stalked in our sick twisted society.) If you choose to be monogamous that is your prerogative. And if you choose to screw goats and want to spend the rest of your life with one, it's there for you. Of course, this won't make ending and starting relationships any easier but it will make you think about how you define your relationship. I continue to see marriage used as a stamp that signifies what this particular relationship is about. Bullshit. Use your brains and communicate with each other over the strength of your friendship, love and sex.

And it's amazing, you can have children without marriage, much like driving a car without a license. Perhaps not having to deal with such cruelty as divorce will help children. I honestly can't say. My outlook on children is more of a lottery version in some bad 70's style sci-fi movie. Perhaps than China and India will stop killing baby girls and America's prom queens can stop flushing fetuses down the toilet. I can't help you on this issue except make sure you have some respect for creation before procreation.

So do yourself a favor, don't have a wedding. Save your friends and family the horror of spending oddles of cash to see you, dress properly and buy you some gift that you picked out. Save yourself the headache of finding a decent ring, proper formal wear that you both agree on, last minute drunken fucks with women/men you don't know, photographers that destroy your photos, cold feet over whether this is real, etc..... Just think with all the money you save from not getting married you can actually just enjoy the "honeymoon" a lot longer.

[ Comment on this story ]

    A few points:
    by Gribble
    gfd messages
    on Aug 12, 2003 08:01:05 PM
    Marriage is usually a tax burden, not break.

    The main part of marriage that most gays are fighting for is the legal status. That is, automatic inheritance of property and children's guardianship, ability to make emergency medical decisions, etc. These things can be arranged legally in other ways, of cours, but A) it's difficult, time consuming, and expensive, and B) Can be challenged legally by the partner's family in a way that the marriage contract cannot. Anyway, even if marriage is the terrible institution you say it is, it is the primary way our society has of recognising and celebrating the mate choices we make, and these people are tired of being told that it's good enough for straight people but too good for them. It is the functional equivalent of being forced to sit in the back of the bus - even if you intended to, you're not thrilled aobut it being your only choice.

    Navajo families take the man as a family "slave", and he takes the bride's name. Don't fall into the women's studies trap. Yes, patriarchy exists, and is rampant some places. If you think that a social structure can be built without the input of 51% of the population you've got a very dim view of your own sex's effect on the world.

    As for the rest of it, I'd be willing to give it a go, in the right circumstances, with the right person. It's certainly not a necessary component to living a full life.

    [Reply to this comment]
      I agree, however...
      by bean
      gfd messages
      on Aug 12, 2003 08:56:33 PM
      I do agree about legal equality for homosexuals as well as heterosexuals. However, my point is that gays shouldn't even need to fight for that right to begin with. I guess what I was trying to say is that it's silly to try to cram everyone into this narrow-minded institution of marriage. We, as a society, should have evolved to a level where the entire concept of whether a mate is of the same sex or not is not even an issue. But that is an ideal society, sort of like Canada but not as lame.

      And as for the issue of female patriarchal dominance and polyandry, I do understand it exists. And I do feel that they are suffering an injustice as well. However, that problem falls under the same issue of why men don't come forward when their wives beat them. Socially unacceptable to the point were society sees it as a farce.


      As for the entire marriage thing, if you do get married Gribble, expect sex toys as a gift from me. They'll be far more usefull than a china set.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    I think you may have taken the concept a little too far.
    by Wig
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Aug 13, 2003 06:45:22 AM
    Sure, in todays society marriage is a bit of an obsolete concept, but some people still see it as a religious thing or a natural way of showing their commitment to their significant other. Of course there are some, who don't take it seriously or are stuck with some outdated idea of what marriage is that should take your advice and not tie the knot, but lets face it: People have spent tens of thousands of dollars on much more stupid and arbitrary things than weddings. Maybe the question should not be "why?" but "why not?".
    [Reply to this comment]
    dunno bean
    by irni(
    gfd messagesAIMYahooMSN
    on Aug 13, 2003 09:57:27 AM
    but i shore like it :o)
    [Reply to this comment]
    Not to get off topic/be a cocksmoker, but...
    by zaxon(huk~)
    gfd messagesMSN
    on Aug 13, 2003 12:55:00 PM
    This is (by approximate, unnofficial count) the 473rd story/comment you've posted with improper use of the word "than".

    Not only that, but our Police Chief of Grammar hasn't said one word about it. Shameful.
    [Reply to this comment]
      er ok there mr. waxon
      by bean
      gfd messages
      on Aug 13, 2003 02:28:39 PM
      you would have thought after that many stories/comments i would give a fuck. funny thing is, i don't. so continue with the cocksmoking there. :)
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
      I hope you're referring to Skew, not me
      by Gribble
      gfd messages
      on Aug 13, 2003 03:06:08 PM
      Because what you've got right here is the new world order of the kinder, gentler gribble, gazing languidly at a thousand points of light, all unique and special in their own way.
      [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        I gotta admit
        by bean
        gfd messages
        on Aug 13, 2003 04:25:53 PM
        I like the kinder, gentler Gribble. None of that bitter aftertaste but with all the spunk. Refreshing!
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
        hey now
        by Skewfield(bean makes me fart)
        gfd messagesAIM
        on Aug 14, 2003 01:12:46 AM
        i'd like you to take notice that i have not said anything about spelling/ grammar since i addressed its importance to StuPiDasScUmBuBbLe quite a while ago. i think of it as "Skewfield lite" all the flavor, less fat. or something. maybe it really means more sugar and fillers. blegh.
        [Reply to this comment]  [Parent]
    Fuck Marriage For Sure
    by TheWisdom(
    gfd messages
    on Sep 30, 2014 02:37:25 PM
    Marriage is an excercise in magic. As we all know magic does not exist...and happy marriages dont either. I am married (for 5 years now) and holy shit has it been an absolute disaster. You can have everything you want without conforming to society and getting married. I come from a place where children get pregnant as if it were their destiny. Thats right, I said children. Anyone who gets pregnant at 16 or 17 is a child and has no business having children. It ruins lives everyday and I see it. Marriage usually follows owing to the stigma and fear that comes with a child being pregnant. I can say with all honesty that I would like to have never been born if my mother could have made a better choice than getting pregnant at 16. Holy shit, 16. And the hellacious life I have endured as a result of other's mistakes has been just lovely. How about we all wait until we have some self esteem before we pull out our dicks and spread our legs? God Fucking Damnit.
    [Reply to this comment]
    by mersky01(
    gfd messages
    on Apr 14, 2017 07:39:11 AM
    Marriage is important to individual who will be going to tie up their relationship into full time marriage. This is not about stupidity but the love should be considered. I am learning more on this things with Essaybox rating and when it comes to rating with this page, I would have to say it was excellent thing to have for learning.
    [Reply to this comment]
    by wykyvahik(
    gfd messages
    on Jan 5, 2018 06:33:46 AM
    Story of the man has been narrated for the clips and all moves for the humans. The arrangement of the grademiners has been shared with all individuals.
    [Reply to this comment]

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